A child who works to feel “proud?” A child/athlete/student who is taught about the concept of “pride” in effort, accomplishment and improvement? A lesson worth teaching.
A child who works to feel “proud?” A child/athlete/student who is taught about the concept of “pride” in effort, accomplishment and improvement? A lesson worth teaching.
It is hard to learn about pride when you are given a lot. It is hard to learn about pride when no matter what your effort or performance, you are told “that is all right.” Or “it is okay.” Sure there are situations where we want to reassure a child but it should not be the norm of regardless of effort, performance, accomplishment or improvement, the child should feel “okay.”
Don’t be afraid of frustrating situations for your children. There is a huge gap between you need to feel happy about yourself 100% of the time and “jump off a cliff” or be scarred for life. A disappointing test shouldn’t mean a trip to therapy for a child. A coach being a little stern with an athlete doesn’t mean the coach has “lost it, doesn’t care about the athlete or has done something totally regrettable.” When teachers, parents or coaches correct a child that doesn’t mean the child is completely flawed.
Pride comes from challenging yourself and being challenged by others. Can you really take pride in something if it is easy? Are we teaching pride if we do too much for the child, or don’t offer them decent challenges? Great teachers, parents and coaches look at every child, determine what they can actually achieve if they are motivated a little, and then offer the challenge.
But to make things too easy? To shield them from accomplishable tasks? Challenges that they are fully capable of doing in the eyes of the adults in their lives but challenges the young child may not be sure of. We can “program” their success. We can open the door slightly, step back and watch them “pridefully” bust through it. We knew they were capable, they didn’t and then they found that they could.
But if we had opened the door 80% for them because we didn’t want them discouraged, then let them push 10% and then we finished the last 10% for them because we didn’t want them to be frustrated when the going got a little tough, we CHEATED THEM.
Learning pride takes strength, sweat, time, patience and accomplishable challenges. And space to “do it by themselves.” Teach pride in effort. Teach pride in improvement. Teach pride in accomplishment. Every child can do that. And no one said anything about winning. Share with your friends. I love when people comment about these articles. Tom Burgdorf and Gymnet Sports on Facebook.
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